It’s said that that the way you carry yourself makes or builds confidence in you… is this right??? Yes, so factually true… its your body language which communicates non-verbally about you mental persona.
Here are some inputs on body language that would be of great help to all our members in their day-to-day life, to improve their soft skills personally and professionally.
What you say is important, but, what you do is very very important. It has been researched that your body does not lie. Most commonly used body gestures and their meaning. They would be of help to you.
Arms crossed over chest - Defensiveness or anxiety
Swinging arm - Want to walk away from a situation
Eye blinking - Fast blinking signals stress/anxious
Downward gaze - Feeling defeated
Taking notes - Shows interest or involvement
Hand over mouth - Can mean boredom
Arms behind head and leaning back - Looking for power or control
Unbuttoning coat - Openness
Buttoning coat - Feels trapped and wants to leave
Standing with hands behind back - Confidence
Clearing throat - Nervousness
Rubbing back of neck - Defensiveness
Hands flat on table - Ready to agree
Stroking chin - Evaluating or thinking
Foot tapping - Impatience
Rubbing the eye - Doubt or disbelief
Rubbing hands - Anticipation
Tilted head - Interest
Pulling / tugging ear - Indecision
So next time you are communicating be aware of yours and the others’ body language and understand what it means.
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A very good post from special people for special one.........
ReplyDeleteBut how come you professionals forgot about “smile and hand shake “which are master of non-verbal communications, should have thought twice before posting this........
The way we use our non verbal communication skills will often determine if others find us interesting, our message is believable and whether or not our true meaning is actually received, yet on the other hand there are some people that engage you with their stories and anecdotes no matter what they are talking about. In fact you often think this person could sell ice to an Eskimo.
Manoeuvring the pulley of nonverbal communication can be a powerful tool, but too often we send signals we don't intend to convey. When this happens, connection and trust are lost.
Nothing is better designed to grab and hold a person’s attention than nonverbal communication. The impact and forcefulness of wordless communication originates from our earliest moments of life. As infants, nonverbal cues were our lifelines to survival. The expressions on the faces we first saw; the sounds we first heard; and the quality of touch we first felt formed the vocabulary for a powerful, nonverbal mother language shared by all human beings. This nonverbal language remains central to the quality of relationships throughout life—long after you’ve learned to use words.
Eye contact is the most obvious way you communicate. When you are looking at the other person, you show interest. When you fail to make eye contact, you give the impression that the other person is of no importance. Maintain eye contact about 60% of the time in order to look interested, but not aggressive.
“Non-verbal communication can be dangerous if not ended properly”
If you have the capability of ending the non-verbal communication then you start else its better you keep quite. Just for an example if you smile at a person, he may definitely consider it as a kind of good gesture, but if the same is done by a group of individuals even then it is consider as good gesture, but if the same is done by group of people and the same smile is been turned to laugh then the person will definitely consider it differently.... we can’t guess, it varies from person to person and the situation he is in. Then the person starts assumptions..... And you know what “Assumptions are the mother of all causes”. It is all because of failure in ending the communication.
In the past ten days I have hurt many(including a sweet little person who was no way related to anything), with the communication which was done by me which was not intentional but predestined for a cause, hope they do understand. I am referring this here because there is a non-verbal communication failure, the start was good but the ending was not appropriate.....
And i am able to see the same in the last sentence of the posting.
Andy remains with best regards.
Hi Andy,indeed that what you have said is rightly very true, i also appreciate the way you linked it back to our young age, its so true that all these non-verbal cues and impressions are not new to any of us,as infants one has communicated in the forms of signs and mumbles, even these non-verbal communication dates way back to the period when our ancestors were apes they certainly this was the way they spoke as then we had no specific language to adhere, sense of touch, eye contact, expressions, gestures, etc were the actual medium.
ReplyDeleteIt would be rather correct to say that, in the dictionary of body language its the way the other person feels defines about its negativeness and positiveness, but i can contradict that all these signs come with "*" i.e, conditions apply... for some it may be ok but for some its not.... i would rather like not to conclude on this.
Hey TheSkillMill,
ReplyDeleteBy age four, most humans have developed an ability to communicate through oral language. By age six or seven, most humans can comprehend, as well as express, written thoughts. These unique abilities of communicating through a native language clearly separate humans from all animals. The obvious question then arises, where did we obtain this distinctive trait? One would wonder why this skill has not evolved in other species. Materialistic science is insufficient at explaining not only how speech came about, but also why we have so many different languages. Linguistic research, combined with neurological studies, has determined that human speech is highly dependent on a neuronal network located in specific sites within the brain
I invite your attention to the discussion that follows; many animals are capable of using sounds to communicate. However, there is a colossal difference between the hoot of an owl and the grunt of a pig. Man’s hominid (creature from which humans developed) ancestors were doing well enough, even though the world had slipped into the cold grip of the ice ages.
Imagine the mystery, the animal that comes closest to producing anything that even vaguely resembles human speech is not another primate, but rather a bird. But it’s unbelievable that they don’t have the ability to speak, it is a real wonder.
How can you possibly get most of the communication without the words? If you go to other states where you can’t speak their language and they can’t speak your language, and watch the body language and listen to the vocal tones - can you really understand it? I certainly can’t. Non-verbal communication is mainly focused on feelings and attitudes and these are co-related with the nervous system which is directly involved with the brain.
We may think that nonverbal communication is universal, but it's not. Every culture interprets body language, gestures, posture and carriage, vocal noises (like shrieks and grunts), and degree of eye contact and you risk offending somebody when it come to some cultures, and while some cultures value eye contact as a sign of respect.
Certainly even I don’t like to conclude with this, I had still a lot with me regarding this topic if you buzz me again then I will discuss the non-verbal communication between humans and animals.
Happy Independence Day.
-Ananth.
Hey TheSkillMill/Ananth,
ReplyDeleteIts nice we shared a lot on this topic and I want to link the same with the daily day-day work I do and the importance of it in our regular life, well don’t expect professional touch to this bcoz it is a part of regular life its better if carry it casually....
My day start when the alarm goes @ 5 a.m, here the non-verbal communication you see is sound, and I look at the dumbbell it gives me a hint to start work out, here the timing and feelings plays their part, I look into the mirror and when I look, I get a feeling why don’t you have a clean shave so here looks plays its part, @ 8 a.m I feel starving, here the nervous system plays its part it communicates that its time for break-fast, @8.45 a.m when I start my bike the fuel indicator says that I am running out of fuel, here the indicator communicates it also helps me in taking direction & also indicates with what speed I am moving and at signal the red light indicates me to stop and the green says to move. And @ 9.15 a.m when I reach my office and take the help of lift it indicates me to press 4 to go to fourth floor, for swiping I use my card and thumb otherwise the biometric system will not accept look how the electronic system is communicating.
At work, I meet Hr’s people of many corporate and I will be shaking my hand with them and try to keep smile on my face but there is one female HR who will not start communicating until I give a hug ( Anyways even I don’t like to shake my hand with beautiful girls, do you? ) its a feeling again. The moment I come out of corporate the clouds starts indicating me make it fast it’s going to rain. And @1 p.m need to have lunch with my friends it’s a good feeling again, @ 6.30 p.m before leaving to home we smile at our friends its an indication to say bye for the day.
Back home @7.30 p.m I will start with a bit of browsing by checking mails and the inbox indicates I need to check mails and @ 11.30 p.m I slowly start rolling on my bed for sleep and at that time I feel as if my dream girl “Kristen Stewart” is with me and feel that she is slowly grooming my hair upwards and the touch make me feel that I am free from the exhaustion I had on the day and communicates in my ears saying that hey its a tough day have a nice sleep and I slowly....... slowly....... slowly....... go to sleep............... Neuronal network located in specific sites within the brain, plays an important role in our daily day-day life, which communicates through out the body and acts like a proof-reader, and what all we speak is nothing but the proof-reader which is written by our nervous system.
Andy remains with best regards.
Dear All
ReplyDeleteTime and again it has been proved that human beings have higher Cognitive abilities and one of the most valuable abilities is that of to communicate. As higher beings, we have learnt to make the best of our communication in adapting to our surroundings, to the extant that we try and not only convey our needs and wants but also to go into the in-depths of understanding oneself and others.
As this is a Blog to share views on HR, which is the purpose, let’s restrict ourselves to human interactions and not spread our horizons.
So speaking of communication, let’s take a look at some of the basic aspects of communication. Communication is an umbrella term, which can be categorized to two broad heading, which are Intrapersonal and Interpersonal communication. As a HR our concentration is more on Interpersonal communication, (Not that we are negating Intrapersonal communication in anyway as behavior is a manifestation of our internal processes)
Interpersonal communication if further divided into verbal and non verbal communication. People have constantly misunderstood verbal communication as one the most important part of communication, which is not the case. Research has shown that 70% of what is communicated is done through non-verbal communication, and the remaining 30 % through verbal communication (however different researchers disagree on the exact percentage, nonetheless all agree on the fact that nonverbal holds a upper hand). Even the 30% of what is said can be further divided into (the paralinguistic)
- Content
- Pitch
- Tone (emotional)and
- Speed
This very clearly shows that “WHAT” we say is of very little importance and “HOW” we say it of utmost importance.
Now concentrating on the “HOW” of communication, which is the more than 70% of our communication.
- Eye contact
- Touch
- Body language – gestures & postures
- Distance/space
- Facial expression etc.
Each of which can further be divided. This shows us as to what a large arena have we entered into.
Now coming to the part of trying to interpret what has been communicated. We mainly have to take into consideration the Socio-psycho-economical status of the person (Sociological would mean taking into account the culture, geographical location, their family background etc. Psychological status would indicate the mental heath of the person. Economical status indicates financial background).
Further trying to interpret what is communicated, we enter into the area of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) which would in-detail help you understand what has been communicated. This boils down to the Topic of discussion “Non verbal – one of the many ways to communicate”. Hence the above mentioned topic is dealing with one major chunk of communication, of understanding the underlying meaning behind what is being said and not said (hence I am not further entering this area).
The main reason for me to be explaining the topic in such great length is to clarify a few things as the postings made above (with no offence) have taken a certain deviations from the topic.
Adding a last point, when we look into what we do day in and day out, how we think, how we sense things around is more of an Internal Process, stimulus- response, and manifestation of behavior based on our internal Neuro- Psychological processes and less to do with communication in terms of understanding others behaviors.
On a concluding remark I would like to say that, when we try and understand ourselves and others we have to take into consideration the A B C of ourselves and others, which are - Affect (emotions), Behavior and Cognitions. As we are an interaction of these three factors amongst themselves as well as with the environment, which manifest itself into Communication.
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ReplyDeleteHey soujanya,
ReplyDeleteFinally from you as expected.......... Very intelligent thoughts!
First one is it is no where mentioned in the blog saying that it is strictly for HR only? If you find something like that please do let me know (I have seen the complete blog there is no where mentioned about the HR not even once, now it is surprising me how come you found it). Secondly the topic is on “Non verbal- One of the many ways to Communicate” but their is no where mentioned it should be an external and that to with others, finally if you really want to know the importance of the topic, then it is must and should you need to know the core subject first and I strongly believe their is no deviation in the topic, if you really feel still then we all will restrict ourselves in further postings.
Many things affect a person's behaviour. One of the biggest factors is the environment. Not just your private environment, but family and school too, and how you are treated in these different environments. Other factors can include a person's socioeconomic status (sociological) and even such things as chronic illness. Cultural can play a large role in behaviour too. Those for different cultures see things in a different light and may act on how they were taught.
Now here it is very much needed for us to talk about sociology of deviance. Deviance as defined in relative terms would mean that different societies at different times develop different ways of seeing the same form of behaviour. If all deviance is learned from a teacher, and the teacher learned from their teacher, how did the first teachers learn to be deviant? Society is based on people sharing common values (collective conscience) which form the basis for actions. However, in periods of change or social stress, the collective conscience may be weakened. In this situation people may start to look after their own selfish interests rather than adhering to social values.
Introverts are energized by their inner worlds while extroverts are energized by outer worlds. That is, introverts get their energy from themselves – their ideas, emotions and impressions. The introverts I know are very concerned and caring for other people, solving problems, righting wrongs….. Extroverts are usually busy with the happenings of the outside world, so they have less energy for listening to their inside feelings.
Like your stand on NLP but want to brief up more to followers to get clarified more on that, Neuro-Linguistic Programming was specifically created in order to allow us to do magic by creating new ways of understanding how verbal and non-verbal communication affect the human brain. As such it presents us all with the opportunity to not only communicate better with others, but also learn how to gain more control over what we considered to be automatic functions of our own neurology.
Heed to what I say here, the processes that take place within a human being and between human beings and their environment are systemic (mean to say universal). Our bodies, our societies, and our universe form ecology of complex systems and sub-systems all of which interact with and mutually influence each other. It is not possible to completely isolate any part of the system from the rest of the system (Its better you throw some light on the last sentence which is very important to say that for any kind of communication we need the help of NLP and we can’t isolate and say it just internal).
Andy remains with best regards.
Hey Andy,
ReplyDeleteSpeak your mind without saying a word: what your body language reveals about you.
It seems like your are missing something on the said topic of discussion “Non verbal – one of the many ways to communicate” your point is very much true when we talk to this extent but you have not included “ Body language” it seems you deliberately missed it.
We all agree NLP plays an important role internally which inturn let our body communicate externally. What you said in your first comment on this discussion is very much true that we as an infants started our communication through non-verbal.
But in your earlier comments you said more about our day-day activities which are inappropriate to the topic of discussion, the reason is very simple, their is no interpretation of body language seen in that, it was more determined on the communication that we receive from electronics like Speedometer, traffic lights, lift, e.t.c, but not on the non-verbal communication done using body language (In simple words its not what we receive, its what we convey using body language).
You know that old saying about actions speaking louder than words? It's so true ... because our body language reveals a lot about us. Before we utter a single word, our mannerisms, no matter how subtle, send a message that's loud and clear. Our posture, how you hold your arms, what your eyes focus on.
Correctly reading other people’s nonverbal cues can tell you what they’re really saying. And by using body language that supports your messages, you can become more confident, credible.
To learn another language is more than just learning words and grammar, it involves learning about another culture, too. We learn much of our own culture's body language before we learn to speak, from the time we are children, usually without even being aware of it. And that body language varies from culture to culture, so it's something to which second language learners should pay attention.
An example if we don’t know the culture: Turn the volume on the television right down while you watch people interact on the screen. You may find it is more difficult to understand what's happening between people from unfamiliar cultures.
And I really appreciate the way Soujanya interpreted.
-Ananth.
Hey Soujanya,
ReplyDeleteYou made me to re-think, yeah may be it is not mentioned in the blog, that it is meant to share views on HR, But it clears if we look at the postings and need to admit it is for HR.
Don't you think by drawing a line and restricting ourselves in the line? Will never bring creativity in us. I believe one should develop personally well to reach excellence in any felid he/she is working and for that core component is more important in what ever topic you choose.
I hope you agree with me, Hey you made me to re-think yaar.... its good and thanks.
Andy remains with best regards.